Practicing Words That Edify

Chapters

• 0:00 Practicing Resurrection Explained
• 0:40 The Power Of Words
• 3:36 Scripture’s Blueprint For Speech
• 6:08 Created By Words, Shaped By Words
• 10:23 Personal Story Of Verbal Hurt
• 13:07 Life And Death In The Tongue
• 18:13 Words Shape Identity
• 22:51 Heart As The Source
• 28:13 Pure In Heart, Pure In Speech
• 34:06 The Inner Switch House Metaphor

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

I'm Marco. I'm part of the teaching team here at Cross Point. And I am thrilled to be able to share with you this morning part of the series that we're going through, right? We're continuing on practicing resurrection. Practicing resurrection. In other words, taking off our old self and putting on our new self. In other words, you know, the sins that tend to trip us up and then put it in on the new self and uh living in the resurrected life. And so last week, Mac shared on practicing humility. And this morning, I'm going to be sharing on practicing words that edify. Practicing words that edify. In other words, the power of our words. The power of our words. And so we have a two-year-old grandson whose birthday is actually today, okay? And I just love to sing Jesus songs to him, silly songs, learning songs with him. And he especially loves wheels on the bus, wheels on the bus, they go round and round. Babies go wah wah wah wah wah, right? It'sy bitsy spider, right? Goes up the spider, right? Or up the water spout, excuse me, A B C's, Jesus loves me. And recently I've been teaching him, oh be careful little eyes, what you see.

unknown: 1:19

Right?

SPEAKER_00: 1:19

Oh, be careful little eyes what you see. And then it goes to be, oh careful little ears, what you hear. Oh, careful little feet where you go. Oh, careful little hands, what you do, right? And then it comes to, oh be careful little mouth, what you say. What you say, right? And it goes, for the father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little mouth, what you say. And as I'm singing that song to him, I'm convicted. I am convicted of those lyrics in my own life. What am I looking at? You know, what am I listening to? Where am I choosing to go? And especially, what about my words I'm using? What about the tone? What about the expressions coming forth from my mouth? Or what am I writing? What am I texting? What am I typing? So this morning, okay, we're gonna focus on the power of our words. And you may not realize it, but every single word you speak is building something. It's building something. You guys, words are not fillers, they're not fillers, they're foundation. They're foundation, right? Your voice is a tool in the hands of the living God. And according to a 2025 study, we speak lots of words each day, with women, of course, speaking more than men. We speak 21,845 words a day, and men average 18,570 daily, except for our pastors who are on a silent retreat this weekend. They're speaking no words. No words, right? I don't know if women could do that. You think? I'm not so sure. Anyway, they speak 3,275 less than women. But I did notice in this study, right, that it's based on women 25 to 64, and it mentions probably it's due to what? We're talking to our children. We're talking to our children during child rearing ages. It also mentioned that we are speaking less because of the rise in digital communication tools, right, like texting and social media. So, what a better way this morning than to dig into scripture to see how God, in his loving kindness, advises us, he warns us, he encourages us about our words. As we need to do what? We need to be willing to start by paying attention to what he says. We need to be still and listen to him speak to us. Because few subjects are more elemental to life in Christ and the kingdom of God than the power of words. The B I B-L-E, Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, has a lot to say about the Lord's words, as well as the power of the words that you and I speak. And so we are promised from the book of wisdom, that's from Proverbs, that the tongue of the wise promotes health. That's Proverbs 12, 18. Or whoever guards his mouth keeps his soul from troubles, Proverbs 21, 23. Or that those who deal truthfully are God's delight, Proverbs 12, 22. And what happens is as we grow up in our faith, God wonderfully continues to refine us regarding our tongue, which he reminds us in James 3 of the need for self-control over our speech, saying that the tongue is difficult to tame and requires his wisdom. So everything that exists, everything that exists came about by words. It's an unparalleled truth. Everything that exists came about by words. Chapter 1 of the book of Genesis, we read that God spoke and all things came into being. For instance, in uh Genesis 1 3 it says, And God said, Let there be light. And God called the light day, and the darkness he called night in 1.5. And then he continues all the way through Genesis 2 with the same words. And God said, and God called, and God said, and God called, and God said, and God called, and it was so, and it was good, and then God blessed. See, it's the verbal activity of Almighty God that literally decrees our world's existence. And you know what's even more remarkable? This is so excellent. God, whose words were so miraculous, so awesome, gave you and me the same capacity that the words we speak would be dynamic, they'd be creative, they'd be powerful in the world around us. And when God speaks, it is so. And God's word says that no word that you or I speak is without significance. 1 Corinthians 14, 10 says, there are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification. Our words count hugely, every one of them. And that might be a good thing, or it might be a not so good thing, depending on the words that we choose. From my own life, uh before uh being married to my wonderful husband Brian, I was married to a man who physically and mentally and emotionally abused me for six years. He was a big guy, he owned lots and lots of health clubs throughout the Midwest. He had a 55-inch chest and he had 19-inch biceps. And he was a threatening force in my life. Sadly, he was an alcoholic and he would lose it after so many drinks. And the way I fought back, my mouth, my words, my words. I could puke all over him with my words. Up one side of him, down the other, spit him out for dinner, and then be really smugly and secretly glad that I could hurt him that way because of how he hurt me. How sad is that? And if you read my life story in my book, Unwavering, or listen to it on Audible, you will notice that when I came into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, one of the very first things that he did through me is to clean up my mouth. That started when I was 31 years old, and since then he's been continually reminding me that words are containers for power. For power. Margo, be careful. They're containers for power. They either carry creative power or destructive power. All of our words have consequences, whether good or evil. So, how would you like to be remembered for your mouth? Encouragement, edification, or gossip? Idle talk, coarse talk. Well, James tells us that your tongue is a very small part of your whole body, just like a bit in a horse's mouth or a rudder on a ship. But it controls your whole body, just like a bit controls the whole horse, and the rudder sets the ship on course. So what we do is we need to be careful, very careful what we say, as Proverbs 18, 21 tells us, death and life are in the power of the tongue. And they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life. See, God has endowed us to give life in two ways, biologically and verbally. We understand the power of our capacity to bring about a baby, but we also are called to accountability for the power of our mouths, the power of our mouths to produce death or to produce life. Just a little word from you can change someone's life. It can be the right word at the right time, or it can be a word of destruction. Do you remember, some of you uh remember this saying when you were growing up, sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. You guys remember this saying, right? Okay. Well, I use that phrase in a nananana boo-boo kind of sing-song-y way uh tone to my classmates that had been saying something like derogatory to me, like, my maiden name was Lance, and they'd say, Margot, Lance has ants in her pants, and then I'd say, Sticks and stones don't break my bones, right? And then I remember they would say something to my good friend, uh Patty, and they would say, Fatty Patty, two by four, can't get through the kitchen door. And I mean, words, I mean, words have a tremendous impact on our lives. Once we're wounded by the words of others, it takes time to overcome the wrong image we have of ourselves. In fact, research suggests that it takes three to seven positive statements to override the impact of one negative one. And in marriage, it's five to one ratio of positive to negative interactions, even during conflict. So a careless word is compared to a little spark from a fire, once again from James 3. Okay, it doesn't seem like it could do much, but it can, and it does. It can set off a whole forest fire with devastation. It's the same with our words. Our speech reflects who we are and has a lot to say about us, about our character. So if you know that your words can ruin the world, it can create chaos, it can puke all over someone's reputation, and basically send your life up in smoke, that should be pretty concerning to you and to me. That's why it's so important to use our words for blessing and for healing and for building up, not for cursing, not for wounding, not for tearing down. In fact, did you know God has a standard of speech? It's in Ephesians 4, 29. It's called God's standard of speech. It says, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up according others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen. God's standard of speech, full of agape, full of unconditional love, right? And we need to develop that habit of loving others with our words. With our words. Sadly, our natural habit, our fleshly self, is to see and talk about all that's wrong with people, all that's wrong with the things around us. But Ephesians tells us to do what? Build others up according to their needs, according to their needs. So let me do a little experiment. Listen to this list of words. Idiot, incompetent, ugly, fat. You're never going to amount to anything. How do those words make you feel? Belittled, demeaned. And they cause emotional damage on you. They are abusive, abusive terms and slurs that will chip away at your self-worth. But they certainly don't make you feel uplifted, right? They don't make you feel built up and happy and encouraged. Okay, how about these words? Beautiful, cheerful, delightful, friendly, kind, creative. Love your sense of humor. That looks amazing on you. Can you sense the difference? Words create an image inside of us. Words create an image inside of us. And quite frankly, just as I was reading this list, I could see by your body and facial reactions the type of actions that the negative words compared to the positive words created in you. Proverbs 2.17 says, as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. As a person thinks in his heart, so is he. Yep, it's a heart issue. It's a heart issue. It begins and ends with our heart. And so we're gonna dig deeper. And this word stuff isn't about behavior modification, it's about our hearts. Our speech has a lot to say about us. It reflects who we are, it reflects what's in our hearts, meaning our mind, will, and emotions. We just uh had what two weeks plus of wonderful Winter Olympics? And if you love the Olympics, you talk about the Olympics. If you love sports, you talk about sports. If you love music, you talk about music. If you love money, you talk about money, right? You can't cover up your heart. If there is bitterness in our hearts, it will come out in talk and the way you say it. If there's hatred, hatred will come out. If there's anger, anger will come out. See, the heart is engineering the tongue and what it's gonna say. The heart is the factory that produces all of these things, and then the tongue is the showcase of your heart. So, how can we take control over our tongue? Well, we can't. We can't. We have to surrender our speech to the capital A, author of speech, to the capital C creator of our tongue. After all, Luke 6, 45 says, it's out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouth speaks. It's out of the overflow of our hearts that our mouth speaks. And then as we're changed on the inside, what will flow out of our mouths will what? It will reflect our regenerated heart. Remember, when life bumps into you, it's what's inside already that spills out. So our bottom line for this morning is this a changed heart will produce a changed mouth. A changed heart will produce a changed mouth. Surely one of the most amazing things about the transforming grace of God is that as our heart is being transformed, our tongue will follow. Our tongue will follow. We'll lose our filthy language, we'll lose our lying tongue, and our unholy anger. I mean, there's very little use of posting Bible memes on social media or witnessing at the office, or maybe inviting someone to church, if what? If we explode at the office, or if we speak unkindly to our children, or if we're critical and bitter, or become known as someone who just carries on. This picture of C.J. Stroud, the quarterback of the Houston Texans, uh, I he says, I can't love God and have a wild mouth. He recently shared a moment of rare honesty about his faith, admitting that he's been really convicted about his speech and actively working to remove cursing from his vocabulary. And he's choosing to honor God not only with his talents on the field, but his character and the way he speaks. He said, it's a heart thing. It's a change of heart thing. So let's ask ourselves: what's the condition of our hearts? What's the condition of our hearts? Because God is very, very serious about our heart and our heart's purity. He goes as far as to congratulate us for those who strive to strive for purity in our own lives. So let's look at Sermon on the Mount just for a minute, and you'll see what I mean. Remember, Sermon on the Mount is where King Jesus, it's like his inaugural address from Matthew 5, 1 through 8, and he's explaining what he expects of his kingdom, and that these demands, these declarations of blessedness, cannot be met in our own power. And then in verse 8, Jesus says this. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. So, what does that phrase pure in heart mean? Okay, because the word heart appears more than 100 times in the Bible. And the vast majority of those times, it is not referring to the organ that circulates our body our blood throughout our body, okay? It's talking about our innermost being, meaning our mind, our will, and our emotions. And so when Jesus used this word in his sermon of sermons, he was talking about the psychological core of a person, the real person, which springs forth our what? Our thoughts and our words. And so these bodies that we walk around in aren't really us. It's our housing. This is just our housing. The real me is inside. The core of my being, the real Margot is eternal. I don't wear out. Neither do you. When you've experienced loved ones like my mom and my dad and my two sisters and my in-laws moved to heaven, that's just what they did. They exhaled this world and they inhaled heaven. And this real me, this real me is what Jesus meant when he used the word heart. He was referring to the core of a person, the real person. And you know, the people that would be sitting on the mountainside listening to Jesus, they would have understood this. Because in their culture, the heart was considered the center of the personality, the source of every activity, your mind, willing, emotions. In other words, what you think, what you do, how you feel. And once again, in Proverbs 23:7 reflects this thinking. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. In his book, uh The Applause of Heaven by Max Lucato, he writes, to Jesus' listeners, the heart was a totality of the inner person, the control tower, the cockpit, and he goes on to say, the heart was thought of as the seat of the character, the origin of desires, affections, perceptions, thoughts, reasoning, imagination, conscience, intentions, purpose, will, and faith. And to the Hebrew mind, the heart is a freeway clover leaf where all emotions and prejudices and wisdom converge. So it's a switch house that receives freight cars loaded with moods, loaded with ideas, loaded with emotions and convictions, and then puts them on the right track. The Bible repeatedly tells us about our inner switch houses, our hearts, where we put our moods and our ideas. And emotions and convictions, either on the wrong track or on the right track. And it works like this out of Luke 6, 44 and 45. Remember what Jesus says. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thorn bushes or grapes from briars. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart. And an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. So, in the inner switch house, the freight cars are either loaded with right thoughts or wrong thoughts, positive thoughts or negative thoughts. Let's look at this photo for a minute. This is a train railway switch and tracks. And how this works, it's a mechanical installation enabling railway trains to be guided from one track to another, like at a railway junction or where spurs branch off. Okay? So they're movable rails that slide the wheels towards either the straight or the diverging trap. So on one track, we have an engine of wrong thoughts, pulling a freight car of negative emotions, which pulls a car of unwise behavior that ends in a freight car of devastating consequences. On the other track is a train that is led by an engine of right thoughts, pulling a car of positive emotions, which pulls a car of wise behavior that ends in a freight car full of fruitful consequences. The only time those tracks converge is in our inner switch house, our heart, our mind, our will, and our emotions. That's where those freight cars are either loaded with right thoughts or wrong thoughts, which then take off on their own tracks. One that leads to devastating consequences, and the other that leads to fruitful consequences. Remember, there will always be consequences, whether good or bad. So let's just stop for a moment and do a quick and honest heart, an inner switch house checkup. When someone barks at you, do you bark back? Not talking dogs, talking humans. When your schedule is too tight or your to-do list is too long, do you lose your cool? When you're offered a morsel of gossip, slandered, you know, marinated in slander, I should say, do you pass it on? When you make a mistake in life, do you blame everybody else and excuse yourself? When a cashier gives you back too much change or did not charge you for an item, do you keep it or do you bring the money back? Your response to each of these scenarios depends on the state of your heart. Whether you harbor a grudge or you give grace. Whether you seek self-pity or you seek Jesus. Whether you drink human misery or you taste God's amazing mercy. Remember, if the fruit of the tree is bad, you don't try to fix the fruit. You treat the roots. You treat the roots, and if your mouth and actions are evil, it's not enough to change your habits. That's trying to change your heart from the outside in. It doesn't work. I've tried it. You have to go deeper. You have to go to the heart of the problem, which is the problem of the heart. You have to go to the heart of the problem, which is the problem of the heart. You have to admit your heart condition. You need to befriend like your brokenness in order for God to heal it. And then in humility, you hunger for true righteousness that only God can give you through Jesus Christ. And that's your one pure desire to know Him and to please Him. And I want to share: if it's not your one desire, you're never going to have a changed mouth. All your other desires need to flow out of one desire, and that's knowing Jesus. Which will be manifested in what? In a pure life. In other words, you'll you'll want to please God with all your words, with all your words. Your walk will match your talk. Your desires will match your actions. Your inside will match your outside. Your Mondays will match your Sundays. And you'll be the same at home as you are at church. And it'll be very evident by your mouth. And as you keep pure, God Almighty gives you a personal pronouncement and calls you blessed. He calls you blessed. Jesus was saying, divinely joy-filled and fortunate are you who possess these inward qualities. Plus, he says, I promise you a future reward. I mean, God always has a win-win for us, right? When we walk and we talk in his ways. So let's ask ourselves again: does my behavior and do my words match my belief? Because so often in our day-to-day lives in speech, it indicates that our devotion to God is not pure. It's not single-minded. Our views and commitments are that like we have all these different views or commitments that we we want to obey or we think we need to obey. It's weakened by what? By our selfish, our selfish pursuits. And because of this, what happens time and time and time again, our daily lives and our choice of words don't match the faith that we profess. Maybe you live like this little poem that my mom used to share with me. If Jesus came to your home today to spend a day or two, if he came unexpectedly, what would you do? I know you'd give your nicest room to such an honored guest, and all the food you'd serve to him would be the very best. And you'd keep assuring him you're glad to have him there, and serving him in your own home is joy beyond compare. But when you saw him standing there, could you go to the door with outstretched arms to welcome him? Would your heart begin to soar? Or would you have to change some things before you let him in, or hide some sinful things and place the Bible where they'd been? Would family conversation be continued at its current pace? I wonder what would have to change if you saw him face to face. Would you be glad to introduce him to your closest friends? Or would you wish they'd stay away until his visit ends? Would it cause embarrassment, these hidden things you say and do, if Jesus came to your house to spend some time with you? Ouch. When our attitudes and actions aren't pleasing to God, and we aren't living a pure life that comes out of a pure heart. Excuse me. How can we expect to have a changed mouth that edifies others? Words that flow with unconditional love. All of our world's troubles, all of the crimes of this world can be traced to one source, one cause. Dirty hearts. Billy Graham once referred to this and said, and I quote, we're suffering from only one disease in the world. Our basic problem is not a race problem. Our basic problem is not a poverty problem. Our basic problem is not a war problem. Our basic problem is a heart problem. And he's right. The state of your heart, the state of your inner being is more important than the state of your marriage, than the state of your business, than the state of our country, than the state of our economy, than the state of anything else. Because Proverbs 4.23 says this. Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do flows from it. Everything you do flows from it. Everything you do flows from it. So in closing, it's clear that God's plan for us is to be wise in regarding the words that we use. It's just not the words in the pulpit, right? But in everyday conversation. It's not just the words in the church services or life groups, right? But it's in your car. It's in your home. It's in your workplace. It's in your neighborhood. It's coming from what? The overflow of your hearts. So we like to do some action steps. And I want to have some reflective action steps. And I have three of them. It's a prayerful reflection as we take these nuggets of truth and chew on them. And the first is to acknowledge, acknowledge before God your true desire for your words to bring enablement and comfort and encouragement into the lives of others. The second one then is to agree, to agree with him, to let his standard of speech be yours as well. Remember, it's from Ephesians 4.29. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And then thirdly, admit to him, just admit to him that this is impossible in your own strength and ask him to teach you how to rely on his spirit to make those changes in your life. So the patterns of your speaking will change because your heart is changing. And so as you're doing those reflective action steps, I want to take you through some practical steps, like practical steps, what to do when it comes to using your words as God intended. And the first is to spend time in prayer. Spend time in prayer. Ask God to guide your words and give you opportunities to encourage others. I mean, ask Jesus to renew your mouth, as He's the only one who has what? The transforming power to renew our hearts, and then our mouth will follow. Secondly, practice pausing and thinking before you speak. Count to three in your mind and think, will my response be God honoring? Or will it, like Proverbs says, will it crush their spirit? Like being quick to judge or using coarse language or having a telltale facial expression. Let's be people that set other people free, right? We speak life into them. We speak life over them. We uplift them with encouraging words. We compliment them. We speak life into them. We use words that carry grace and kindness. And we guard against engaging the tongue without engaging the mind. Here's an acrostic to help evaluate whether what you're about to say is something perhaps you shouldn't. T, is it true? H is it helpful? I, is it inspiring? N, is it necessary? And K, is it kind? In other words, think, stop, have these go through your mind. And if what you're about to say doesn't pass this simple test, don't say it. My mom used to say, Margo, you have a little girl in you that comes all the way up to here, and then you push that little girl back down. You don't say it. You don't say it. And then lastly, you apologize. You apologize to those who your words have caused harm to. You apologize. Let's be people that are quick to apologize, right? To those we hurt, quick to turn away from our own sin. Yes, at times, you know what, we're gonna mess up, okay? But let us continue to rest in the freedom that comes from knowing Jesus. Because my prayer is that we as believers will be these tangible walking examples of Jesus to a watching world. And let me tell you, they're watching you like a hawk. That those around us would feel this sense of refreshment and encouragement when they're with us because our life, you know, is constantly what we are speaking, and it's life words. It's not death words. In closing, I just want to invite you to silently climb into my closing prayer and make it your own. Let's bow our heads. Father God, help me be a person who speaks words that build up and not tear down. Help me speak life into the situations and people around me and not death. Fill my heart afresh each day with your Holy Spirit, so that your love and goodness overflow from my heart and my mouth. Help me to speak only about things that are true and right and noble and pure and just and of good report and praiseworthy, God. And like David prayed in Psalm 19, God, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O God, my rock and my redeemer. Keep my mouth from speaking any evil and anything that is not true. Holy Spirit of truth, guide me in all truth. May every word I speak reflect your purity and unconditional love. And Jesus, as we now get to prepare our hearts for the Lord's Supper for communion, may we offer our humble and contrite hearts to you for all that you've done for us. Shedding your blood on the cross for the forgiveness of our past and our present and our future sin. And the guarantee of eternal life with you now and forever. Thank you, Jesus. We offer this all to you in your precious name. Amen. So what a perfect way to culminate this morning's message by taking the bread and the cup. So if you have your bread and cup, if you would grab that, because in 1 Corinthians 11, Jesus, on the night that he was betrayed, took the bread and he gave thanks and broke it, saying, This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me. Let's take the bread and eat together. Then he shared the cup, representing the new covenant in his blood. And he said do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me. So let's take the cup together. Because for as often as you eat this bread and you drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. So, Lord Jesus, thank you for your death. Thank you for your resurrection so we can live those resurrected lives through you. May we go in your peace and in your love and continue to change our heart to be more and more like you. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen. You can go in his love and peace.